- Ambiguity or speaking cryptically: a means of creating a feeling of insecurity in others or of disguising one's own insecurities.
- Chronically being late and forgetting things: another way to exert control or to punish.
- Fear of competition
- Fear of dependency
- Fear of intimacy as a means to act out anger: The passive–aggressive often cannot trust. Because of this, they guard themselves against becoming intimately attached to someone.
- Making chaotic situations
- Making excuses for non-performance in work teams
- Obstructionism
- Procrastination
- Sulking
- Victimization response: instead of recognizing one's own weaknesses, tendency to blame others for own failures.
- abbey
who isn't? hahaha
ReplyDelete-verna
after 48 years finally we heard something from BBB!
ReplyDeleteanyway, seryoso yang post na yan. this dawned on me while i was making (defensive) snaps sa psychotic ex-gf ni dandee.
and i know it's so unforgivable pero the first person..as in top of mind person i consulted was: RALPH.
why? maybe because i have this insecurity na behind my back he's still psycho-analyzing me. (lyn paki-confirm! haha..pero i think kasama ka niya haha)
so. he said yes! sometimes im just plain aggressive. and that i should get some help. PROFESSIONAL HELP.
i've been wanting to. pero minsan iniisip ko yung same thing na sinabi ni verna. pwede din talaga na normal lang kasi i have this tendency kasi na maging inward-looking.
hay. i wanna know the truth. on one hand kasi: i wanna get better, tapos on one hand (unconsciously) baka i wanna have some excuse na rin. you know. pardon my mistakes kasi im 'sick'
i think i am. i think i did. hourly rate na lang ang pinag-uusapan namin nung shrink.
btw, this admission of weakness is also a sign of passive aggressiveness. kasi in a way, this passive admission is in fact making me in control. ang gulo.
for the record. i don't want this, so maybe the 'excuse' part doesn't exist at all. or unconnscious nga siya.
i can see Ralph smiling with content.
paranoid.
-abbey
actually verna. aren't we all?
ReplyDeletebumibida na naman si ralph ha. going for 9 years more?
-lynn
oo nga lynn, papayagan ba natin si abbey umabot ng isang dekadang hopia?
ReplyDeleteako na lang shrink mo! pag-usapan natin ang rates.hahaha.
here are some unpaid, unsolicited, and non-professional advice:
- you just need love. and for you to get a lot of it, just give a lot of it. real love. give and don't expect any in return... don't expect and don't complain.
- if you've already done what i said above, i think you need to cut ties, communication, everything, with the person whose name always comes up, for at least 2 years.
- after those two years, you'll be ready to love again... and maybe you can be really friends again with him... and most of the passive-aggressiveness goes away too. :)
No guarantees. But I've done it. So it's worth a try.
-verna
verna,
ReplyDeletehaha. pabayaan niyo na ako. this is my burden to bear. hahanap ako ng way to find a breakthrough. =)
malaking tulong siguro ang pagsusulat.
-abbey