Wednesday, August 3, 2011

lately

It's 5AM, and the rains stopped. Been waiting for it to start again, not only because am not in the mood to go to my classes, but also because I love how it sounds--how it drowns out all that I hear, all thoughts I don't want voiced out. Not that I have much of those lately--unwanted thoughts. Truth is, haven't much of anything lately. Just, well, a peaceful existence.

Maybe this is because I haven't had a wink of sleep, and the blogposts from here which I've read so far affected the direction of my thoughts somehow. Apologies if this isn't as profound or life-changing or inspiring, but you're my friends and you'll love me anyway even if I just rant for the heck of it.

Haven't seen Harry Potter yet, too. Unlike Verna though, am not waiting for a date. I just, well, don't feel like saying goodbye to Harry yet. Am not yet ready. Thought I was, but then I saw this trailer where they showed the Harry from way back First Year in Hogwarts and I just couldn't do it. Am not good with closures; you know this. Am always in denial. Couple of weeks ago my Lola [Dad's mom] died, and I didn't even peek at her remains. At all. Last Holy Week when my family visited her because the doctor said she had brain tumor, I stayed behind. Didn't want to see her sick. I prefer to remember the last moment we were together, just making chika. We were good at that, Lola and I. We can go on all day just gossiping. Well.

Would've wanted to be cremated when I die. But our faith doesn't allow this, so yeah. Okay.

And. Am pro-divorce. No divorce in the Philippines, so I'd rather not get married. Not even to The One. Or to the Correct Love.

Have this huge feeling I'll fail the Bar. That said, if I do, we can all talk about it openly, without need of whispers behind my back. Could handle failure fine, I think. This particular failure, I could. I think.

Oh look there's the sun. Here comes the sun. Here comes the sun, and I say, It's alright.


Oh God I need a hug.

-Lynn

Monday, August 1, 2011

Rain-dom Thoughts

Death is such an easy way out;
It takes more courage for life's bout.

Some lose the fight even before they start;
Some people start just so they don't depart.

Then some fight for that thing they can't live without;
And then some live for that one thing they cry about.

And then life would be one reason they sing aloud;
And death would be one thing they laugh about.

Then some look death straight in the eye;
Having truly lived, they can finally die.