GULONG NG BUHAY

(Active Notes from the Past #2)


Ikot, ikot, ikot...
Taas, baba. Taas, baba...



MORNING


Jollibee breakfast joy bangus with B. Then Nathan, then Luji.

Then, puro rejections sa calls.Yung nagYES pa sa kin yung di ko tinawagan.

May 5 guests na ko sa wellness expo tapos nkbenta ng 5 femwash partner ko. Good.



NOON


Masaya yung lunch, kwentuhan. Kakaibang lunch kasi first time ko with the people kanina.



AFTERNOON


Happy ako hanggang sa humingi ng 400 ang taxi after nya mai-load ang 18 boxes ng wine bottles. Napagtaasan ko talaga ng boses si manong. Ayoko magbigay ng 400 na 250 lang naman dapat (P50 tip included). Pinababa nya ako at pinagbayad pa nung nasa metro! Grabe...



Then may tumulong sa kin na mama na mukhang adik kung ijjudge mo, pero mabait pala. Ayaw tanggapin P20. Binigay ko yung half bar Lindt chocolate.



Mabait na din yung next taxi, nagkwento ng buhay nya at gusto bumili ng wine, binigyan pa ko discount cards sa laffline.



Tapos hirap naman kumuha ng bus na magdadala ng bottles. Ang tagal magdecide ng mga dispatcher, ang mahal ng singil, ang iba ayaw talaga.



Hanggang sa may konduktor na nag-offer, naawa siguro pero double pa din ang singil from the usual.



Buti na lang hindi ako gumawa ng eksena. Kasi pagkatapos maikarga ang mga kahon, may lumapit sa kin, sabi "Ma'am Verna?"-- isa sa mga trainees ko sa Marsha's Ilocos. Panalo sa liit ng mundo...



Tapos masakit na paa ko. Nakatayo sa mrt to the point na naupo na ko sa floor ng train.



Pero hindi pwede na umuwi ng hindi masaya... I know the perfect person to call.



NIGHT- 


Nagkita tayo. Badtrip ka kasi pinapauwi ka maaga.



Natunaw bigla yung topak ko pagkakita sa pagka-irita mo.



Umorder tayo, excited para sa pinaputok na pla-pla. 20 minutes later,saka sinabi na out of stock pala! Sumakit ang tyan kakahintay sa wala. Nabusog naman kahit papano.



Tumawa sa word na "werd" (weird), sa dahilang nakalimutan ko na. (A, naalala ko na, yung bag inspection papalabas ng RCBC!)



Nag ice cream ng pinilit na cream cheese at mister chips, tumawa sa "Misis", ok na. Parang tayong dalawa lang ang masaya.



Kung iisipin ko bakit nangyari lahat yun o kung san nanggaling ang mga ganun, mas nakakaloka.

Ganun lang talaga, may up may down. Minsan nga lang nakakaloka na sobrang bilis ng up and down. Ganun talaga, walang dahilan.



One time life gives us shit, another time it gives us good. Then it gives us shit again, then good. Almost in equal proportion.



What matters is what we focus upon. I choose to focus on the good but i will not know it if there was no bad.



I wouldn't be able to appreciate sweet if I haven't tasted bitter. I would appreciate joy if I haven't experienced sadness.



So I appreciate both.



I'm grateful for an experience of life in a day and for that one person, who, in ways so subtle almost unintentionally, manages to shift my mood and lift me up. 


-Verna

PANGKILITI SA KUKOTE

(Active Notes from the Past #1)

In order to be free, i need to be me.

Paul Cooke expressed a lot of wisdom when he said "You should be real (although) not good. That will make you happy."

The only time we're not real is when we're trying to hide a part of our self, a part of our life. Much like what Deepak Chopra said, which i forgot exactly what, but i know it's about being real.

Being real and happiness are really connected. Being real means becoming free. Freedom brings happiness.

In Father Fernando's sermon he said that to be happy, we have to stop feeling that we are the center of the universe, which i think in psychology is called being ego-centric.

Which, also makes a lot of sense because when we forget oneself, we also forget about worries.

Which brings back to be one of the quotes from whom, i forgot-- forget yourself into greatness.

Which also makes a lot of sense because the only time i was able to give my best was when i did not think about what the audience thinks or appear to think.

In contrast, i remember Deepak saying something about being selfish once in a while, meaning, to prioritize self goals other than team goals, to go for that activity that is not urgent, but that will be important for one's future.

Which brings me to a dilemma. Why work so much for the future when we don't even know what it will bring?

Michael Gerber notes that planning does not ensure realization. It just gives direction. Planning should not be a solid thing etched on stone, rather, it should be flexible, fluid. The more important thing is the vision rather than the plan. The picture, the destination, rather than the map.

Planning is futile and frustrating if we are not aware that plans are not the sure thing. The better way is to have discernment to determine every activity. Action-Reaction. Cause-and-effect. Crime and punishment. Truth or consequence.

Which brings me to another dilemma. If i will be happy when i surrender, why do i even have to think of the results?

I guess it will all just boil down to balance. 

To surrender without being careless. 

To give the best for the present without worrying about the results. 

To be hopeful about the future without betting on it.


-Verna


PM me for full story :)